DAY NINE

I am SO proud of myself. NINE DAYS!!! I haven’t really had any major urges except for yesterday. I was not feeling well, laying in my bed. Friday night, what I would typically be doing is going out drinking and partying all night or staying in and smoking weed, getting fucked up and watching movies or whatever.

I have to say, laying in bed getting high did sound pretty good at the time…but I recognized that I had the thought and then shifted it.

What would that even do at this point now, anyways? Let’s say I would go out and drink or get high. I know where that leads. It doesn’t give me what I’m ultimately wanting and needing. It takes me down the road of numbing out which makes all my problems worse and worse.

I am glad that I had the awareness to stop that thought and shift it.

I am glad that I still have the continued desire for sobriety and all the gifts it promises.

I may be at the beginning of my journey— but I can see that this is a road that is well worth it in the long term.

I am no longer worrying about what I used to worry about — and this is only the beginning!!

I know it won’t be perfect, but it will be MY JOURNEY.

And that is all I need it to be.

I’m committed to sobriety and to learning, growing, and evolving along this path — surrendered to God— to the best of my ability. And that is all I can expect from myself.